I think a lot of us have gone through the experience when we feel that someone close to us has done something or said something to us that feels like a deep cut. It might feel that hurtful because of what was done, how it was done, why it was done or a combination of all of the above.

We find ourselves in that place where we feel we should be able to forgive what was done/said but also find ourselves with this sense of wanting to feel that we have been wronged and would like to hold on to that grudge or to withhold the grace of forgiveness just a little bit longer. After all, we were the ones on the short end of the stick here.

So I was thinking, while going through something similar not too long ago - Why this reluctance to forgive? Could it be that once I let go of the grudge that I feel, then I might have to face my own flaws in that situation? You see, as long as I hold on to the grudge, that other person is the "bad guy" and I don't even have to deal with anything that might have been a shortcoming on my part.

Or is it that in order to be able to forgive and let go I first have to take a look at and recognize my own shortcomings? That when I do this, I am then able to "love my neighbor as myself". That I see that I am just as flawed as they are and yet able to think that on the whole I am not a bad person.

So which comes first - the humility to recognize my own fault; or the practice of grace & forgiveness? :-)

Grace & Peace,

Deji.